I'm 4 months old... thus I can do what I want!

Jillian turned 4 months old Sunday! Hard to believe that my baby is that old already! She decided that she wanted to give herself a gift... no tube for a few hours. We were at church Sunday morning and Jillian decided it was scream time. We ended up spending most of the service in the hallway instead of in the service. I was walking with her trying to get her to sleep. She was almost asleep when she started to cry again and throw her body in reflux pain. In her flailing she got her hand under her tube and pulled it out. I then had to get all the tape off and clean up the mess. Thankfully I had some helpful people around!
We put the tube back in her in the afternoon with the help of my parents. Each time we have needed to put a tube in they have been with us so we have gotten into a routine. It probably looks a little like hog tieing a cat on the dinning-room table.
Jillian has gotten into a lovely patten of choking around midnight. At that point she has been on the pump for 4 hours. I am not sure what about this time is causing problems but I have been waking up each night with her then. Some night are worse then others and some nights she has some regular coughing mixed in there too that sounds like a dog bark.
Today we went to the doctor for her next shot. She was up to 12lb 9oz. She got the Hib vaccine and really did not care about it going in. She was more upset that while we sat there for 10 min after to make sure she did not have a bad reaction immediately, I tried fixing her tape. Since we changed her tube on Sunday we have not gotten the piece of tape by her nose just right so they keep falling off (we use duoderm by her nose) and I wanted to fix it when it started falling off so we did not end up putting a new tube in again. I ended up having to redo it again in the car before we left because the replacement was already falling off. I think I have it good this time... hopefully! She ended up eating her 11am bottle in the car too before we left. We had a 10am appointment but the Dr was not in today and they had a hard time figuring out what shot she needed today since she is running on her own timeline so we did not get the shot in until 10:40, and then wait in the office around 10min to make sure she is ok and it is time for her to eat. There is a part of me that is hopeful that part of the screaming in the doctors office was for food because she has not seamed to be very vocal about wanting to eat lately. She would be ok with sleeping through some of her meals if we let her, so while I don't love the hear her cry there is a part of me that is grateful when she asks for food.
I want to put a big shout out to all of the people who have done there best to make our lives a little bit easier lately! Some of you have gone out of your way to do kind and helpful things for us and it is truly appreciated! It has been amazing to have someone bring us dinner in the mix of crazy dr appointment schedules or come over and wash a few dishes.
We are not currently at a point that we feel ready taking Jillian out while she is hooked up to the pump (we will get there) so it is amazing when people are willing to come to see us, or eat dinner early so we can be home in time. We appreciate it so much when we don't have to explain over and over why something or a situation has to be a certain but when people just roll with our craziness right now. Through all of this you really find out who cares about you and who has your best interest in mind. I have felt a little guilty lately that I have not been able to be as involved in our friends lives as I would like or that I have not been as emotionally available to others. I really do love my friends and I am grateful for the forgiveness that some of you have had to extend lately when I am not able to be as good of a friend as some of you deserve. But like Brent said, our true friends and family really love us enough to love us where we are right now and walk the journey with us and do not judge us and for these people we are more grateful than we can express!

Jillian with her giraffe friend this morning. She liked eating his feet!

Our next appointment is with GI this Friday but until then I am going to cuddle up with my little girl with her shot and love on her. I might also try to get some cleaning done..... maybe!