The difference a year makes

(Before you read this post, it is me reflecting, not upset or being negative so please read with that mindset)

This week I turn another year older and if you ask my students that puts me somewhere between 15 and 99 :)

I woke up this morning in a reflective mood. I started thinking about this week in the past few years of my life. Last year on the week of my birthday we went up to Door County with Jaime and Jason. Before we left for vacation we found out that Jillian was a girl. The year before on my birthday I drove to work in Madison and stopped at Penara Bread on my way and while I was there I started bleeding... A LOT! I was several weeks late for my period and was loosing the baby. It was one of the longest days! The year before my mom and I were at Disney World having a good time!

This year is a little different then my normal birthday week (yea, I said birthday week). This year we are preparing for Jillian's surgery (I spent a few hours last night reading as much as I could about the surgery). We are going to try to go to the zoo before Jillian's surgery since we dont have to be to the hospital until 3. Normally my birthday week is spent going out to eat at different places with birthday coupons (I did not get many this year because UWW got rid of my email address without me realizing it and thats where they all go to, man I love coupons!).  So far this year we have no eat out plans.

But this year i have someone to hold in my arms. Someone who is sleeping on my chest right now in a pink tutu. Someone I would not trade for the world!

This time last year I was dreaming about what now would look like. I cant say I imagined all aspects of my life right now but I am glad to have the people by my side that love me. I imagined a little girl who was rolling around and this week she has started to. She also said mumma the other morning. I know she does not associate that with me yet but the fact that she stated making consistent sounds this week is huge!

This year is a little more stressful then last although last year we were in the midst of all of the drama of trying to buy a house and it falling through again and again. Last night after a huge bill came in out of left field from Children's (we have already paid the out of pocket max for our insurance this year on Jillian) Brent asked me when the stress lets up, and I have no idea. What I do know is we are blessed. We are blesses with the gift God gave us of Jillian. We are blessed for the friends we have. We are blessed so much by some of our family. We are blessed with heath insurance. We are blessed with great doctors to help us in the journey. We are blessed for the tubing running out of Jillian's nosed. We are blessed with the opportunity of surgery this week.

So while the bills still come, the pump still goes off at 2am, the bags for the pump have not been working well this week, the dishes still pile up, and I am not off trotting around Disney, I am just as blessed this year. I have so much to be thankful for! I have a husband who works hard to keep our home, a daughter who smiles when I walk in the room, a mom who listens even if it is just to me venting, a daddy who is my supper hero, friends that help us out in ways I could not imagine, and other people who have come around us in prayer. We are blessed!

So this year I'm going to try to take a new perspective. While I am not off running around partying I am loved and that lasts!

 

 

My 18th Birthday eating an Icee and Cheesecake!

2010 (above and below)

 

 

 

2011

2012