Something Jon does is he asks a lot of questions... even when people are interviewing him. And the thing is that often he isn't looking for the other person to answer. Often they are deep questions. Questions you can tell he is wrestling with but I appreciate that he is willing to admit he is wrestling with something without having the answer to it.
I was driving to a mall today to meet one of my closest friends. I knew where the mall was because it is close-ish to where I went to college however I have never gone there from our house as this mall is about an hour from our house. I put it in my GPS and let it guide us there. It brought us to a road under construction. We bounced off and on the same highway multiple times. Some of the roads we were on I knew from having lived in that area several years ago (but am rarely in that area now) but other roads I am sure I have never been on. I was on county roads where I went miles without seeing anyone else. I laughed at one point in my head thinking how grateful I was for a GPS because if I had car troubles I had no idea where I was, just what I was between.
But I trusted the GPS. This was not the way I would have taken, however it was faster then my way. It wasn't roads I knew. But I knew I put the right place in for a destination so I knew it was getting me to the right place even if the route seemed odd to me.
I was in the car so that means my mind was thinking...
I started to think about life's unanswered questions. It we are honest there are so many of them. I am a church girl. I have been brought up in the same church my great grandparents went to. There is a lot about me that takes the Bible for what it says because it says it. And I am sure there are many of you that thinks that makes me crazy.
Brent has a pod cast that he likes to listen to that debates different Bible theory questions... I am not interested in it at all... I am often ok with knowing what the debates are but not joining them. I believe Jesus is the way, the truth and the light... I know my foundation, so for me the other stuff that doesn't impact that I often feel like I don't need an answer to those questions because it doesn't change my foundation.
I was also thinking about how that applies to my life experience. I was really annoyed and angry when Jilli was little that we didn't have a name for whatever is going on. I think a part of it was that there were some people in our lives who didn't see her struggles or understand and therefor said some hurtful things so I longed to have something definitive to tell them, a name. But we are almost 5 years into this journey and still no name. And you know what... at this point that is ok. That question isn't meant to be answered today. Maybe someday. Maybe not. Maybe forever we will be playing whack-a-mole with symptoms, and if that is what it is... then that is what it is.
At one point while walking the mall and shopping at all of the kids stores while pushing our strollers I thought back to college us. See this friend and I both had our own journey with infertility. I remember our days after graduating college where we both just longed so much to be moms. We longed for days like we had today. I don't know why exactly both of us struggled with infertility... but I know God has timing. I know He created our kids and is growing a sweet baby in my friend's belly. What I do know is that I am grateful for today. I am grateful for my time with my amazing friend. I am grateful my kids were able to have a day where they could be at the mall. I am grateful for God's peace in situations.
Sometimes not all questions need an answer and sometimes it is our job to be content with that. I am not saying that is always easy but something to think about when the answers are not coming.
Maybe every situation doesn't need an earthly answer?
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| I bet you don't know what this picture Lydia took is of... |
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