American helping

I was in the kitchen this morning getting morning meds ready. Jilli was working on school work and Lydia was not happy I was not in the living room. This is not an uncommon situation at our house. Jilli said she would go help Lydia and I told her to work on her school work and I would be in the living room in just a second. Jilli was at the dinning room table which is right behind the couch and someplace you can see the entire living room. Next I heard Jilli tell Lydia that it was ok because she was in the living room with her. Lydia wasn't mad that there was no one in the living room, she was mad I wasn't in the living room. When I walked in the room Lydia was still crying and Jilli was playing iPad. I asked Jilli what she was doing and she said she stopped doing her school work and came into the living room because Lydia was lonely so she was waiting for me to get back in the room... while playing iPad... nice try Jillian.

But my head drew to how often that is the American way of helping. We see a problem... we don't look at the root cause of the problem and we try to solve the problem how works best for us.

We saw it this weekend with a golf trophy being dedicated to hurricane victims like that was going to solve the problem. We see it when people throw tax donation money at an organization. We see it when Americans go in to "fix" someplace. Too often we see it in American mission work.

And I am not saying that those things are all done with bad intentions (although on the topic of giving for tax brakes I feel there is some lack of purity there) What I am saying is we often look for an "easy" way for me to "fix" a problem.

One of the ways I have been evaluating this is my life lately is asking myself where I am joining along with people and where am I serving at people. Those are two different things and each one has its time and place but the joining along side with people often digs a lot deeper then serving at people.

Let me play this out for you:

Say you serve at a soup kitchen. You serve a meal. You do your duty and then leave. Someone was fed that needed to eat. That is not bad, but imagine if you invested more time into those people... imagine if you developed relationships... imagine if you mentored them and helped them thrive. Its more of a time commitment. Its more risk of getting hurt. But it helps move that person from just getting fed to thriving.

Its engaging with people. My dad taught me this by his actions when I was younger. My dad use to manage a traveling homeless shelter one Saturday night a month. Being a kid we didn't really understand that however what we did see was how my dad interacted in public with the people he helped in the shelter. I remember being at McDoanlds once and my dad bringing food to a guy dressed in a winter coat in the summer carrying all of his belongings. My dad knew his name and talked to him. He taught us with this actions that this person was a person too. It wasn't a show my dad was doing but caring for someone he had a relationship with.

We like to Americanize giving. There is times and places for money... there is times when that I best... I am on a committee trying to build an accessible playground... right now we need a lot of money for that, but we also need hands to join in helping fund raise and we will need a lot of hands to help build it.

Joining along side often takes you out of being the hero. When this is just a part of your life an relationships its not a pat on the back thing for you. It is so easy to get caught up in doing things for others with a selfish motivation. Look how great I am and all the people I help but that puts you above others and the last thing people who need help need is people looking down on them. 

So I think the challenge to all of us... how can we have a balance in our helping others. There are times that money is the best donation and is what is needed... but push yourself to not only serve at people but find places where you can join along side of people too.

This is a picture of someone who truly gets loving with people! This is Ann from RMH and she is incharge of the amazing garden and she joins with families in supporting them!