Beautiful things

If you read the "getting pregnant" tab on this blog you will read about how we found out we were having Jillian, however that post only slightly goes into the 18months before finding out we were expecting Jillian.

We tried for 18mo to get pregnant. There were a lot of tears. A lot of heartbreak. Honestly it was one of the hardest parts of my life. It is one of the times I wrestled with God the most.

During that time the song Beautiful things by Gungor came out.

The song starts:

All this pain
I wonder if I’ll ever find my way
I wonder if my life could really change at all
All this earth
Could all that is lost ever be found
Could a garden come up from this ground at all

You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us


I clung to this song. I cried to this song. I prayed during this song. I clung to the words that God makes beautiful things out of us.

Then when we became pregnant with Jilli I cried every time the song came on thanking God.

This morning we sang this song at church. I admit I don't listen to this song as much as I once did. I am in a different season of my life but today the song hit again and tears were in my eyes.

Today Jilli was using her new wheelchair at church. As the song started she started to use her chair to dance. She twirled in circles. She worshiped with her wheelchair.

It reminded me how far we have come from those days of longing to have a baby.

He makes beautiful things out of dust.

He made her.

The amazing girl she is!

I know many people see her wheelchair, oxygen, feeding pump and leg braces and think that nothing about that is beautiful but I challenge that. 

This little girl knows how to use a wheelchair to worship instead of seeing it as a hindrance.

Her body gets its food a different way, and you know what, she thinks that is really cool and it annoys her sometimes that the rest of us have to stop to eat because she sees it as getting in the way of playing. 

She loves her stickers for her oxygen.

She is beautiful inside and out.

I see God has shown us so much beauty by seeing life with her eyes.

The second verse of that song is:

All around
Hope is springing up from this old ground
Out of chaos life is being found in You


And that is so true! From the pain of wondering when or if we were ever going to have kids to being blessed with these two AMAZING girl. God provides.

big girl at lunch today... she likes Cracker Barrel because they have a store in the restaurant and she has one of their dolls so she loves looking at the stuff for the dolls. Her hair is getting so long... and no she does not want to cut it!