I just looked at Brent and said that I needed to change my shirt because it had poop on it... like everything else that was around Jillian when she pooped! I mean like everything! Floor, rug, all clothing on her, between her toes witch is interesting since she had socks on, on her oxygen and feeding tube, everywhere. It was bad. This is rare for this child since she normally has issues going but still no fun. I'm glad her intestines decided to work today.
This happened while I was working on Lydia's Katie Beckett paperwork. Lydia also didn't like that we were not paying attention to her while cleaning up the poop storm so she screamed the entire time. Oh somedays.
I ended up with a runny nose Friday night after Brent and Jilli did a dino dig thing and Sunday morning it went to my chest. Today I feel ok but I have next to no voice. Sometimes thats ok, sometimes we all need a reminder to shut up sometimes.
I started re-reading a book today that I read in high school. Its called Messy Spiritually, it talks about how none of us are prefect, we are all messed up and fail all the time but our job is to keep seeking God. Its a good reminder right now. In all that is going on it is easy to get caught in a holier then though thou attitude thinking we are better then other people. I have admitted to close friends and family that if my faith was not rooted in Jesus in all of the past year with the political seen and everything around it that I most likely would have left the church because the American Church as a whole has done and said some really crappy and unbiblical things during this all. Thankfully my faith isn't rooted in the American church and I have christian friends around me that let me admit my struggles and frustrations and we are able to dive into scripture together and have healthy conversations. My worry is for those who didn't have that. My heart breaks for them. This book is a good reminder of how messed up we all are and how much it doesn't help anyone to pretend like we are not. Its a good read and what my heart needed today. If we act like we don't sin then why would people join the church when they know they do? Instead we need to admit our sin and openly say we are engaging in a journey with God and we don't have it all together but He does. I spent some time today thinking about 1 John1:8-9 today and what the means, it was good verse to dig into given some of the things that have been said about what the christian faith is.
The girls had PT this morning. Jilli worked hard today and so did Lydia. Lydia protested more to working today then she has in the past but she was rubbing her eyes so much so I think she was tired.
I am also struggling with the lack of fact believing today. I feel like we are at the point where you could say the sun in yellow and someone would argue with you. It is this hard moral balance of when do you say something to someone and when don't you. Brent is more of the person to jump in and give facts and sources, and I would rather not argue with people (in fact I have commented on things more then once the past few days and then someone turn around and say something skewed and I comment the original poster personally to tell them I am out because I am not getting into a fight online but that I agree with the point they are trying to make) But at the same time I see the problem Brent brings up with sitting totally silent. If someone says the sun is purple, and then they convince other people the sun is purple now we have an even big issue because as an idea gains popularity there is a likelihood the idea will keep gaining steam no matter how crazy it is and no matter what the facts prove. Fights are useless, but sitting by feels wrong. So for now I just keep loving people as I wrestle.
On the lines of loving, thank you to those who have already talked to me about #roguesnowflake! You are awesome. From people talking to me about how they are going to get involved to two bags being brought to me at church on Sunday full of supplies. If you are someone who is also interested in going to RMH to help serve a meal in April please message me, I am working on the details of that right now but will need 10-15 people to help! If at any time you know a group that would like to go to RMH to help with a meal the guidelines are on their website. My heart was so touched last week when family in Indiana posted that they are working on getting a group together to serve at their local RMH!
Also a huge shout out to Stacy who sent Jilli a social story today with pictures about the testing she is having done in February. Caroline already had this test done so they are helping Jilli with it. I am so grateful for amazing friends who help us in this journey.
Well, now I need to go back to filling out Medicaid paperwork and work on cleaning the house. I am the type of person who can't handle a mess when someone is coming over (I do make exceptions at times) and especially when we are having a state home visit. Not that we have anything to hide, but I would rather people be comfortable in our home and it is not comfortable when you have to manage where to place your foot in a room of Duplos. Also its a good reason to need to deep clean but while having the home visit is plenty of motivation, that actual act of cleaning sometimes doesn't make it to the top of the list, especially when you have setbacks of poop volcanoes! Oh the juggle of life!
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| Jilli and her "Super Ladies" (thats what she calls them) She has a whole thing about the princesses and Bat girl working together to save the day and they use her computer and change in Pappa's house. She has "repurposed" many different toys to her whole seen, it is cute! |
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