Jilli: mom, do you have any friends
Me: Yes
Jilli: Who
Me: Lists off several of my friends who all happen to be female
Jilli: (in a disgusted tone) your friends are all.... MOMS!!!
imagine that Jilli, I have mom friends!
Jilli starts poking her diaper. I ask her if she is ok. She says "yea, I just have a grown up sized poop in here" So I search for the wipes which for some reason are by the toaster?! Lay her down to change her diaper...just some pee. She was so disappointed there was not a grown up sized poop in her diaper.
We were getting ready to leave to go to Target. I look over at Jillian and she has the oxygen from her teddy around her head. I tell her to take that off of her head because I don't want her to strangle herself... She said but mom, its a light, I need it to see. Love your imagination baby girl but lets not put ourselves in danger please.
We get into Target and I head to Starbucks, Jilli grabs a coffee holder for the cart. She says carts having coffee holders is very important to her. I ask her why, she says because mommy really need real coffee, fake stuff just wont do. I buy my coffee and the barista gives Jilli the receipt. They know us at our Target Starbucks and know that I drink the coffee and Jilli gets the receipt. Advantage of having a tube fed child, it saves me money at Starbucks, all she wants is the receipt!
We then walked through the toy clearance and Jilli picked out toys to donate to Ronald McDonald House. She didn't ask for any for herself, she loves to donate toys to RMH. She was mad at me the last time we stayed there because we didn't bring any toy dinos with us to donate. Her giving spirit makes me smile. We did pick up a new Paw Patrol movie for her, but if I admit it was half for me too because we only owned one and it only had one Paw Patrol episode on it and my sanity was running thin watching that same episode.
Right now she is sitting in her high chair waiting for me to bring her play dough (ps there were some really cool new learning playdough sets today at Target) and she is singing Joy to the World at the top of her lungs. Jilli thinks any time she plays her guitar that singing must be screamo!? And she will stop singing every once and a while and say "family you need to exercise" and then go back to singing. Thanks Sid the Science kid for telling my kid that we all need to exercise...
I am thankful for her care about me and wanting me to be ok. She keeps telling me she needs to see my face up (what she calls a smile). She doesn't understand all that is going on right now but she gets that mommy is sad and she wants to help. Its hard though because she is trying to understand it all and so every once and a while today she will look at me and say "no one dies at our house, right mom, we stay here on earth forever" Its hard to explain to a four year old and it hits rather close to home in more ways then one (Luke is the same age as my brother, we all grew up together, and read the section about my fears in the This Little Miggy Spotlight today). So today I am thankful for Jillian's kindness and wanting to making me smile and Lydia's sweet cuddles.
Tonight as I stood in the girls rooms folding laundry with my trusty Jon Forman station playing the Phil Wickham song Beautiful came on and as he sang "when death is just a memory and tears are no more" the floodgate of tears flowed but was a good reminder of when we enter into eternity with God. A reminder of this world and God's forever plans.
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| My sweet girl |
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| Tinker Bell Jilli |
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| It looks like it might be time to pack up the mamaroo |
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