"As long as its healthy"

I am about to write something for me that feels raw... something some of you might take as me trying to push "political correctness" but I hope you read it all and understand my heart and remember that we teach children that words matter but for some reason when an adult says that our society calls them a liberal snowflake... I ask you to keep an open mind...


I logged onto facebook recently and one of my friends  is expecting a baby. I am excited and thrilled for them. The poll was going if the baby is a boy or girl and then my stomach hit as I got a notification and it read "as long as its healthy." See before my girls I always thought the saying was a little weird but never thought much about it. But now it stings. I always just turn away and try to hide my feelings about it, honestly right now I am so sick of all the name calling in this country and many of my views being made fun of but once again today I am going to try to peal back and explain why I feel the way I do about this saying.

First off, I know many amazing people have said this phrase and never meant anyone any hurt by saying. I know the person who wrote the comment had no idea that it stung... that phrase is the socially acceptable thing to say. But I want to challenge that.

See I read that while sitting in Ronald McDonald House surrounded by kids most world not label as healthy.. but they are amazing kids.

But there are three reasons why I decided to write this post and hope people will rethink that phrase:

1. Every time I hear it I think of the fact that my job teaching my kids self esteem is going to be made harder by society. Jilli perked up today when the new Dove commercial came on with a woman who wears a prosthetic leg. But when I hear that phase all I can think is that it says "we want a kid... except if its 'broken'"... and its a reminder that most people long to not have kids like mine and while I understand that, I think of the message that sends to these kids... we don't want kids like "you"....

2. And that thinking has actions that go with it. Many countries have a 90% or higher abortion rate for kids who are diagnosed with down syndrome at 20 weeks... that saying has actions that go with it because if we like to admit it or not that is really how most of our society feels. They don't want kids who are different. And that saying perpetuates that. "we are excited that you are having a baby as long as nothing is 'wrong' with it..." well guess what... we are all messed up, our differences is what things are hard in our lives. But too many moms hear this saying all of there life and then when they get word that their baby isn't healthy they don't think they have an option to have that child. See words have an effect on people. 

3. It puts parents in a harder position when they do get told there is something that might be going on because a bunch of people just told them that they were excited for them to have a baby as long as the baby was healthy and now they need to tell all of these people that might not be the case. Your words just made a hard situation harder for someone.  

So I challenge you instead of saying "as longs as its healthy" here are some other things you could say:

-I am so excited to meet your new little one
-I am just so excited to shop for this little one, I don't care if its a boy or a girl
-Baby cuddles are great, I can't wait to snuggle your little one no matter the gender
-I am so happy for you little blessing!
-or just make a guess, its not like it is a test... or say quite


So I hope maybe the next time you are talking to someone about a baby that you think about your words a little more. I would like to think that most people want to use their words to help others and here is a practical way that could.

They might not fit most people's definition of healthy... but they are amazing!