Revival

This blog post has been stirring in me for a while...

Here are two podcast episodes that influenced this post if you want to listen before you read:
http://www.anniefdowns.com/2019/03/09/episode-123-awaken-nashville/
https://kenoshafcc.com/resources/sunday-message (the July 23, 2019 sermon)


Revival... its such a church word...

And being a church kid its a word that I have heard all of my life and has touched my life in different ways. Its talked about in band names, church history and podcasts. Its seams to have times were it was a lot more popular then others and in my own life I have had times were it has brought me pride and times it left a sour taste.

In college I was a part of a college ministry that in part grew because of the crusades of the 50s as a way to follow up with people after those big tent revivals. My time in college in this ministry is such a treasured time of my life, sure I learned a lot in school, but I think I learned the most from being in a relationship with with my friends as we had late night talks about God. I almost went to a Christian college, but changed my plan after my freshman year and for me I am so thankful. I am not harping of Christian colleges here, but for me the church girl, a liberal arts college with a really strong faith community shaped my life in ways I never imagined.  

A while back I was struggling with some women in the church that likely have no idea that I was struggling with them because they don't know me... nor do I really know them however I was mad and hurt after a couple of situations were I felt left out and excluded. I've gone to my church my whole life and it stings when people who ignore you act like you are new because it makes you feel really unseen. Like I've been here week in and week out for years and I am not asking for accolades... but just don't make me feel like I don't belong because there is a new popular moms group that has made zero attempt to be accepting of my kids. I joked with a mom friend who was a part of the group but was watching how I was being treated that the new mom groups come and go every few years and some of them stay and continue to be friends as their kids grow up, other people move away and that causes shifts in social circles, and really sadly sometime they fall apart because they were never about Jesus but were a social club inside of a church that couldn't sustain when things got hard. Joking about that with my friend was not the kind and loving thing, it came from a place of hurt, and a place of being in a church for 30 years and seeing the cycles.

As I was sitting in church one day I sent this friend a text saying that if I was not willing to pray for the women in my church for revival then how could I have kingdom eyes... this text wasn't really about the situations that had stung but more about my heart and my response to those situations. I wrote on my bathroom mirror "Let revival come, let the people pray" which is inspired by the bridge of the song Come to the Water by Passion which says "Let revival come, Let the people sing, The glory of Your name, All over this place we pray." Those words have been on our bathroom mirror since as a daily reminder to me. It reminded me the day where I was invited by this same friend to something and I wanted to put all my walls up and I walked into the bathroom and saw those words and knew that sometimes the next step for revival means doing something that feels uncomfortable even if it seems trivial.

But the months went on and I would hear the word revival and started to not love it and there is no pinpoint to why but more of a cynical about it because revival started to feel shallow. Maybe it is because I looked around and so much of everything felt so shallow... life just felt like it looked like busy people running around looking out for themselves living shallow safe lives... the reality is that I was trying to do that too while longing for depth but scared to have it. I have a friend who lives in a neighborhood currently that is kinda picturesque with little shops you can walk to and plenty of fun places to eat and every time I drive though the neighborhood I find myself drawn to it but also wrestling with the fact that I had a placement at a school that was also within walking distance, just walking the other direction, that was the poorest school I have ever worked at. So many children in too small of a room with little resources. The picturesque and the place the people run from so close together yet worlds apart and I can feel the battle in my own heart about it all. I want to think I am better then these people in the picturesque because I would feel like I am deeper then they are but yet I would also want to run from what felt like instability of the rougher area... I an outsider who didn't fit in either but judged both.

I was doing a devotional and praying this morning and something I felt really convicted of was that sometimes my want to call people higher and deeper stems from the American mindset that other people are lazy. This thought of the other is so pervasive in our culture... that others don't work as hard or think as deep or care as much. Sometimes that causes me to throw temper tantrums that others are not helping others enough or loving enough... and there does need to be pushback to our me centered culture, especially the culture that is rather close handed with love and resources because they have such a small view of God that He could not love everyone therefor we spend all of our time asking who our neighbor is and never actually doing anything except maybe helping our own sometimes... but judging everyone as lazy in their compassion while I judge them for judging the people they call welfare queens doesn't do anything but leave us all bitter and angry.

I look at my generation and everyone says all the time that we are a generation that seems hungry. We are not a generation that is just good with a Bologna sandwich on Wonder Bread, we joke that we like our avocado toast and our craft bear better, but its true that in many areas we are searching for something deeper.

We don't just want the tent revivals that you leave feeling part of a club, as we can see through clubs, we want depth, relationship and connection. How do we build?

This weekend was a big one for our church. Our minister of 40 years retired. He and his wife have poured into my life for my whole life. Growing up our ministers were not put on some high crazy pedestal, sure we were taught to respect them, but we were also taught that they were people. A lot of people came into town for the celebration and on Saturday night some people gathered at my parents for pizza and I laughed after when I realized everyone who came were former misters of our church and there was nothing weird about that at all. They are people that I deeply care about and there is no show there based on their profession but instead genuine relationship with one another even if we are only together every few years at this point... the church unites us.

I was not at church on Sunday because I had made plans a year before to go to something that morning but once the party was planned I decided that I would do the morning plans but make it back in time for the retirement party. As I drove I listened to a podcast from months ago that I had not listened to in the crazy of our spring. As I listened it talked about recognizing the people that had sown the seeds for years and the fruit that we are seeing now because of those sewn seeds.

I started to cry as I thought about the retirement party that I was headed to and the seeds that these people had sown into my life over the years. The musicals, Sunday School class, hospital visits, and help in everyday life that our minister and his wife have very lovingly sown into my life. These are the people who would always ask how we were as kept up with us even during the times when I would feel like an outsider in our own church because we were gone so much with medical stuff. How do I do that for others? And I know loving our family both the 4 of us and my whole very large extended family has not been easy or fun somedays yet we were loved... how do I spread that not our of a works mentality but out of a service one?

Sometimes we can be so quick to want to squash the things people have done before us when what we are called to do is prune. We can be quick to take credit for the things that are happening now without any thought of the people who planted in the first place.

I feel a stirring happening. I feel it happening in me and I talk to friends who say they feel it too. I feel like God has some revivals coming but how do we help to make it deep. The podcast I was listening to said that every church dies... the one I attend is around 90 years old and while I hope with all my heart it thrives and God does more then I can ever imagine with it in my lifetime, that line struck me because I had not thought about that before. So how do we make this deeper then butts in seats?

Because the cultural things that came out of the crusades of the 50s feel cheep to this generation... we really don't care that money says "In God we Trust" nor do we care that "One Nation under God" was added to the pledge because those things feel shallow to us... they feel like a cultural Jesus puppet show that is meant to look like we have it all together but to my generation it feels like that was just a whitewash where people took the name of Jesus and stamped it on culture and called culture Christian. We look around at some of the people who championed some of these things and we see right now how some of them are not very loving or kind.

So how do we prune revival? How do we stand on the shoulders of those who came before us and see and respect their deep want to bring more people to Jesus? How do we help people see the real Jesus and not the white American culture one because people are so hungry for the real thing! How do we look at the seeds that were planted by every generation and help to tend to those and plant new ones for the generations after us? How do we set this up to love the next generations well? How do we be mindful to not become prideful when revival comes and take all the credit for it instead of thanking God and the people before us? How do we get our hearts and minds ready now while things are string to be in a place to love people well? How do we set this up so it doesn't just become another round of culture wars that kills people's faith... culture wars can feel holy but I think are a lot more of man then God... how do we prune and treat now to prevent those weeds from popping up again? What work do we need to do now so this isn't just a formula because the longer I am a Christian the more I see the formulas rarely work out in the long term... currently it feels like the Christian world is in a bit of unraveling with formulas that we have been so tied to for many years but maybe God is asking for His people back from the formulas that try to box Him in? How do we pause and take mindful steps but yet not become frozen in the overwhelming of the work? How do we not sell ourselves to side projects but yet don't get so focused on revival that we miss the keys parts of it like justice, compassion, love, serving each other, and caring for all... not just those in the tent with us. How do we remember to love even when people push back? How do we remember this isn't a battle against each other?

My mind is swirling with questions.

And the best place then in prayer.

And then in conversation.

And then in actions.

My bathroom mirror