4am... We are not friends!

Friday:

Hang on! Dad's driving :)

Jillian started off the morning with a medium size thick poop. We celebrate poop these days... and I celebrate it even more when someone else changes it, this time daddy got it :) We went to school and Jillian did not grace anyone else with more poop like I was hoping that she would. I was hoping maybe we had started the flow again.
When Jillian and I got home from work Dan was in the driveway working on fixing Brent's wheelbarrow. Brent got home shortly after and the boys decided that they needed another part to finish fixing it. I pumped and we decided we would just head to Lake Geneva for dinner.
We went to Taco Bell. I ran into a family that use to attend the daycare. We also had our first experience with kids asking loudly what is sticking out of Jillian's face. I don't mind when kids ask questions because they are truly trying to learn. One parent said the tube helps her breath (a great try from a parent, and an answer I find acceptable) and another parent tried to ignore their child however the child kept asking. I never did hear the parent answer their question. I would rather a parent give a good answer then say nothing at all so their child does not see it as something wrong or something to be afraid of. However at the same time I would rather someone say nothing then something dumb.
The boys then ran into Home Depot and Jillian and I hung out in the car while I reset her pump up. Before going on 24hr feeds I was terrified of setting up her pump anywhere but at home. Now I can change the bag in the Home Depot parking lot. We have come a long way. 

Saturday:
Flash back to collage. Dan spent the night here (our guest room is named "Dan's room"). Dan lived with us for a year  in collage and it felt like normal for the three of us to be eating breakfast together on a Saturday morning, now we just have a little addition.
The boys worked around the house on projects in the morning. They got the trim done in the kitchen! *Happy dance!* I got some cleaning done... not as much as I wanted but something is better then nothing right???
Dan headed out in the early afternoon and Jillian and I took a nap. Brent and I then decided that we had not been out to dinner the two of us in a while so we packed Jillian up and headed to Spreachers in Lake Geneva. It was kinda nice that the weather was not great because LG was not crowded and we were able to get a table right away. Now that it is getting nicer it is harder to get into places. It is one of the traps of living in a tourist town. That and I swear the prices at Walmart increase when the warm weather and money roll in. After dinner Brent was going to run to Walmart but instead we all hung out at home. I was really struggling with not getting the house cleaner during the day. I feel that it is my job to make sure that the house house is clean and presentable at all times. I want my home to be open to others but I struggle opening the door when people will trip over a  mess. I feel that is the house is not clean to my standards I am a failure. I know I have issues... As mother's day was approaching I was struggling with the house be a disaster. I don't give myself the credit that I am taking care of Jillian and all that entails, working full time, and we are in the middle of a lot of house projects right now. All I see is mess= my fault.  I told Brent that what I would love for mother's day is the kitchen cleaned up. So he put Jillian and I to bed and worked on the kitchen. I was SO grateful for that.
During the afternoon Jillian pooped once, about the size of a dollop of cool whip. Not all that impressive for her and for the lack of good poop lately. Dan called his mom (who is a nurse) and asked her opinion. I was able to talk to her for a little bit and that was so helpful! Jillian pooped again a little in the evening. We have also noticed that when she poops, if she has had water recently she pukes. If she has not had water to puke she burps or dry heaves.

Sunday:
Good Morning! Jillian had us up nice and early moaning and crying. Eventually we got her back to sleep about an hour before we needed to get up. We decided that we would try to catch a little more sleep too. The one thing neither of us realized was that neither of us had set an alarm. I woke up about 30minutes before we needed to leave. Amazingly we somehow got out the door on time.
We had a lovely breakfast with Brent's parent's at Cracker Barrel.  Jillian was sleepy but she was determined to stay awake and see everyone. For as sleepy as she was she did not fuss too much. Together we made Brent's mom a stone for her garden. Brent mixed the plaster and molded it, I painted it, and we put Jillian's footprint on it.
Next we met Seth at church. Jillian was not too thrilled during service and Brent spent most of the service in the hallway with her. After church we went to my parents so I could pump and then the 4 of us went to Target and Penara Bread. Their summer salad is back and that made me very happy! Then we headed back to my parents and my parents met us there (they were in Door County for the weekend). We then all headed to my grandparent's house for mother's day. Jillian was not feeling the best and was kind of cranky. She was just kind of off all day :(
We had no poop all day so I called the GI nurse line on the way home and left a message that we need a refill on laxatives and about the poop. Never thought i would be calling anyone and leaving a voice mail about poop!

Monday:
Good morning 4am! I am not an early morning person. Jillian was up crying and coughing and moaning. I have no idea what the problem was. I feel back asleep about a half hour before I needed to be up.
Jillian slept a lot at school and was kind of fussy. Her eyes look like allergy eyes right now so I am wondering if something environmental is going on now that it is finally warming up. She will be perfectly fine and then all of the sudden looks miserable. I am the same way with my allergies.
Brent got home from work before us so he made dinner and we all sat down to watch How I Met Your Mother. That is something that Brent and I set aside doing each week together. By the time the show was done my head hurt so bad from allergies I could not sit up anymore. Jillian and I went to bed around 8 after we turned her pump back on and Brent went to the grocery store.
Jillian took her water really well all day. She has not been drinking the bottle correctly and has been refusing to take more then 5ml. We can normally trick her into drinking by giving her the antacid med before the water (it tastes like cherry) but even then her eating is sloppy. All day she drank her bottles of water better then she has in a week. I have been concerned that she was starting to loose the ability to take the bottle correctly. This gave me a little hope. While her eating does not look nearly as good as when speech watched her eat a month ago, she is still able to get something in. Right now she is getting mad because she can not keep her passy in when she lays on her tummy. She wants to look around so bad but she wants the passy in too.

Tuesday: HAPPY 5 MONTHS!!!
Wow! It does not seam real that it has been five months already. It has been quite the journey so far but I am so blessed by this little girl. Happy 5 months baby girl!

Waiting for my shot

Good morning 4am... again! Have I mentioned yet that I am not an early morning person and that her pump gets refilled at 2am, and I pump from 2:10-2:30 and then have to get back to sleep so by 4am I have only been back to bed for a little over an hour? She was moaning and crying and flailing and coughing again. I got her to go back to sleep around 6, but only on me, so no sleep for mommy. We hung out in bed until 7 and then I needed to pump.
Jillian had an appointment for a weight check and shot a 9:30 so we left the house around 9 to get to East Troy. She is up to 14lb 9oz! (I wonder what it would be if she would poop right!) and the nurse gave her one shot and one vaccine by mouth. She said Jillian took the oral one better then she thinks anyone has. Jillian is use to only getting water and meds by mouth right now so for her it was not out of the ordinary for her to be gulping down a medication.
We then headed to Target. I figured I did not need to bring the whole diaper bag in for a quick trip, completely forgetting Jillian's pump was about to need to be refilled. We got to the middle of the store and she started beeping. I quick went and checked out and headed to the car to refill her. ops!
After we had been home a while I herd a noise in our driveway and looked out and the gas company repair truck was here. In January we had a problem where we had no heat because we had no gas coming into the house. After a day of searching for the problem, so money and a lot of repair men they figured out we had a mud wasp nest in the line that was now blocking the flow of gas. They took the nest out but told us more work needed to be done when it was warm out. So here today stands a repair guy that I had no idea was coming today and luckily was home for. He was able to do the work and it only is a little more money... but hopefully we should not have that problem again. When he was finishing up he asked about Jillian. I explained to him that currently she does not eat by mouth and she needs the tube to grow. He asked some good questions in really respectful ways.
While he was here Jillian pooped again. It was about a medium size and still thick. It took some pushing to come out and there was a good amount of gas first. Still waiting for GI to call back. Hard part is that her dr does not work  everyday.
Now we are curled up on the couch because she got fussy again. She is liking to be held on my left hip with her head just under my shoulder and her arms wrapped around me and a blanket on her back. It seams to be comfortable for her. Funny thing is that she has always liked to be held kind of like this. I remember the third night after she was born the only way she would sleep was like this. That night was a long night in the hospital since she wanted to be right by my c-section incision. 5 months later and she still loves that spot on me. So for right now I will curl up with her. I have to get some things done around the house, but I think they can wait a half hour more right...