welcome

Its funny how sometimes there are just themes that happen is different seasons of your life. Things you end up having conversations about multiple times with different people with out planning the conversations... things that just keep coming up and if we stop and listen maybe we will see that there is something we need to learn in that.

We are in an interesting season... we are in a season where in some areas we are in transition with a few different things  and in some other things we are living in the result of a lot of hard work put in over a long time... and I can be quick to not sit in that and instead plan for the next thing instead of taking a moment to sit in what I have put the time and effort in already. There are also a few parts of  life that have some friction right now. Its just a different season then we have been in.

I was listening to a podcast recently (I don't remember which one) and someone asked something along the lines of how do you want people to feel when they are around you. I try to be intentional in many things but thinking about how others feel when they are around me is not something I had ever thought about. And instead of having an answer right away, like I feel most comfortable with, I sat with the question for a while.

In elementary school I was the award kid who wasn't very good at school, or sports, or art... I was uncoordinated and most things did not come easy for me. At my core I really know what it is like to be left out, forgotten or overseen because there are seasons in my life that I have felt that soooo deeply. Part of my life where I just wanted to be noticed.

People will argue that there are healthy and unhealthy ways to get attention... I would argue that there is unhealthy and dangerous ways to get attention... because of the heart... yes actions like helping others for attention does provide help in the world but it still has a heart issue and it can still destroy a person... it will be less outwardly destructive as "bad" attention seeking behaviors but they both lead to really dark heart places... and in one people see you need help and in the other people are praising you and encouraging you to do more...

Those seasons of my life left a mark on me. I still really often wonder if I am welcome places, if people like me for me, if when people invite me if they really mean it. There are sometimes where this is really unhealthy. There are times that causes me to push people away in self preservation. There are times it makes me wonder if someone who is likely being loving to me really cares about me at all. There are times it stands in the way of me making steps to make true connections with people.

So I wrestled for a bit with the question of how I want others to feel around me in light of how I feel about a lot of different things. And I have come to...

I want people to feel welcome.

I want people to feel like they can always sit at my table.
That they can come to me when the need something.
That they are always invited and included.


I know I often stink at this though... I know that it is often my stuff getting in the way. I often think after the fact how I could have been more welcoming... I see my shortcomings.

But that is my goal... to live my life in such a way that everyone feels welcome.

I am still figuring out how to do that practically... and I will royally mess it up sometimes... but I want to be intentional about that. I don't want to get so busy that I miss the people... that I miss hearts.

And I know there are seasons and days where I am better at this then others... but my rough seasons should never been a reason to make people feel unwelcome.

And there are times I know that with the best intentions I try to be extra helpful and fix everything for everyone... and I am learning that I can get really burnt out with that too and then I push people away and make them feel unwelcome so I am learning balance there too...

But can you imagine how amazing the world would be if everyone felt welcome?!

Because all of the reasons that we normally give about why we don't welcome some groups is because we are afraid of them overstaying their welcome but if we all were genuinely welcome and loved that would not be a problem because people would be filled... many times when people feel someone else has overstayed their welcome it is because the other person is afraid that if the situation changes at all that they will never be loved again... how can we change that? How can we make people feel secure in their welcome and the fact that they are loved for who they are. Can you imagine how hearts would be changed? How in the end behaviors that push each other away would change.


So know, that in my life you are welcome... you are wanted and you are loved.