What a privilege

I'm sitting down after unloading the car after another trip to rmh. We had a good few days of appointments that were very productive.

As I sit here, tired, all I can think of is how thankful I am.

This week I was able to spend extra time loving people since our appointments were so calm. Delivering coffee and sitting with friends is such a privileged. Talking with medical family on the way home is a privilege. Answering messages from a medical friend when I walk in the door is a privilege. Being in Facebook groups with other medical parents is a privilege.

Sometimes I overlook what an amazing thing it is to get to be a part of this community but for some reason tonight it is really hitting me.

I understand being in these shoes what vulnerability it takes to let people in. Special needs parents feel a lot of judgment frequently so it is easy to shut people off. It is also often hard to know how much a person is interested in being in your life and when they offer help how much help they are offering. I know that someone saying yes to a cup of coffee is them allowing me to love them. And I see how in that beautiful community is formed. Them letting me bring them a cup of coffee or sit with them is such a gift they give me.

We do not often view helping someone as being allowed to love them. It is easy to play hero in a situation and think that we are the amazing ones for helping however we often overlook the vulnerability that it takes for someone to accept help. We overlook the gift that it is when someone allows us to join them in their life. That is a huge gift. I am sitting here in awe that friends and family have invited me in their life to love them.

And I mess up on loving people all of the time! There are so many times I say the wrong thing, do the wrong thing or think of myself first... but I am thankful that people give me second chances.

Jilli and I were talking the other day about how to nicely talk to Lydia and we started talking about empathy. We let Jilli set some of her school goals. This year her self directed school goals are to learn blue/green better and to learn to read better. My goal for her is letter and number formation (currently she starts most of her letter in a wrong spot and each crash she has her writing takes a huge hit). She asked as we were talking if she could add a goal for the school year... to work on empathy. My answer was a big yes! Empathy is something we can all work on!


It is also not lost on me all of the people who love us. Thank you to everyone who loves us. Thank to everyone who reads this blog. Thank you to everyone who is a part of our story. Maybe it is working on writing a book and thinking about that but the weight of people taking time to read your story feels like a huge privilege and I am so blessed that people take the time to read what I write and use that to join into our lives. That people have been showing up here for 5 years and spending their time reading. There is a lot on the internet and I am so humbled that you would choose this site to read. You become our cheerleaders and prayer partners and I am so thankful for each of you!

So tonight I am in a thankful mood.

Lydia was so happy to have her Jack Jack once she got home! She is curled up watching Peppa Pig

Jilli sitting with a friend in the hospital. She sat for hours this week just by her friend. Not expecting her friend to play with her or even talk much, just sitting and being near her.