Today is about tubie love! We love our tubie so much. We fought to get pregnant with her. Just getting pregnant was a lot of tears and heart ache. We longed to have her so much. Then we had her and something seamed not not be quite right from early on. She never latched properly on her own. She vomited from day 1 and by 10 days old they were already very concerned with her weight. I remember the mind switch one day from things going ok to her showing more and more struggles and I remember thinking "I will fight for her." I will do what it takes for her. I will devote my time and my energy into her. For me that was a moment where Jillian and I formed a deeper bond then before. There is something about declaring you will fight for your child that takes you for being a passive parent along for the ride, to an active parent that is deep in the trenches.
As a mom of a child with medical needs I see how easy it could be to keep the child at an arms length out of not wanting to be hurt. I see why some parents pull away or retreat to things like alcohol to deal with the fear, however I made a choice early on that I was all in for whatever this crazy ride threw at us. She is mine and I will fight for her. I will love her and out of that love I will do whatever it takes. It does not matter the stress, or sleepless nights, or times that are scary, I will cherish her because God gave me the gift of being her mom. I am so fortunate to have her and to love her. I am beyond blessed that she is mine.
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| I can't eat food orally... but I'll put a lego in my mouth! |
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