Prayer

At church right now we are going through a series on prayer. It has really challenged me and has been something I really needed! I feel like prayer in my life is something I am getting kinda right or really messing up and I have felt like I have been in a rut for awhile.
Some people have been asking what they can pray for us. Being in a family of believers, it is so encouraging when people authentically pray for you. Here are our prayer requests currently:

1. I know this is a little strange, but I am praying for abnormal test results. This is my prayer because they might point us to a reason. Strangely, I have become more and more ok with not knowing the exact "why" of Jillian's eating differences however I think there might come a time when knowing what is going on could be very helpful. I also see myself getting frustrated at some point with not know why but I am very grateful for the patience He has given me to be ok with not knowing the "why" right now and trusting in Him.

2. I pray that I am able to have my eye's focused on Him and being ok with not having all of the answers. Sometimes that is actually the best place to be.

3. To be able to go ahead with the GJ surgery if it is what is in His plan. It would make some things easier to have the tube placed directly into her stomach. One of the things that it would hopefully help with is the ear and sinus infections. We need some test results to come back a certain way for this to happen and we are praying for it all to line up. I know it is crazy for a parent to be praying for surgery but that is what we currently think is best.

4. To be able to use this opportunity of Jillian's health to point people back to Him. I was thinking today how someday maybe Jillian can educate others about feeding differences and help to make the world more accepting.

5. For wisdom for the doctors and for us.

6. For reassurance we are doing the right thing. Parenting is one giant balancing act and this is no different. Mix health stuff with little sleep and you have a mamma that doubts herself frequently. I want to do what is best for her. I want all of my motives to always be right. I don't cut myself a lot of slack sometimes and that leads to frustration.

7. For patience with others. Sometimes in wanting what is best for her we forget about others and how to best educate others. Sometimes I am not a patient with others in all of this as I should be. I have to remember that the people around me are learning too. 

8. Praise for the amazing people that God has surrounded us with. We are so grateful for the kind words and the encouragement from others.I am grateful for the feeding tube awareness group that has provided a place for us to ask questions and get advice.

9. For pooping to be less painful for her. It took her 9 hours today to push her poop out. There was crying and unhappiness in that time for her and I hope that becomes easier for her.

10. For guidance in a lot of big decisions we have before us.

We currently are not begging for God to take the tube away. I know that might sound really strange. We see the tube as a blessing. We are so grateful that God has placed us in an area with the resources to help Jillian. If we were in a different location Jillian might not still be with us. We are so grateful for all the amazing things the tube has done for her. She is growing! She is developing! We feel that the tube is what is best for her right now. At some point God might have a different plan, but for right now we are so grateful His plan has included the tube to keep her with us.

Thank you for your prayers!