She was telling me about her playmobil people. The school teacher is getting married to the guy in the flight for life helicopter. I love when I get to see into her imagination. I sadly don't take time enough to do that. She REALLY wants the Playmobil wedding sets that are coming out soon so she was telling me all about how someday when she gets those she is going to have the dress store so the teacher can go dress shopping (she and I love watching Say Yes to the Dress together when she is in the hospital or we are at RMH).
The conversation turned to what she wants her wedding dress to look like and how she doesn't know yet who she is going to marry because the only kid boy she knows (Nate) isn't grown up enough yet to marry.... never mind neither is she lol. I asked her if she was going to walk down the isle or use her wheelchair. In our house we see both ways of getting from one place to another as good options, it all depends what she needs at the moment.
She then paused and got a funny look on her face and asked what if there was stairs, what if she got married someplace her wheelchair couldn't go.
A five year old should not have to worry about if the world is accessible to her or not. Her thoughts about her wedding shouldn't be about if a location can accomidate her wheelchair. This isn't sad because she uses a wheelchair sometimes, a wheelchair is just a way to get you from point a to b... there is nothing sad about that, what is sad is that my 5 year old already knows so much of this world isn't built for her when she is using her wheelchair.
From sinks you can't get a wheelchair under, to stairs to get into a business, to isles that are too small at a store... she sees it.
I know where ever she does get married will be accessible... because there is no way I am paying for a wedding someplace that isn't, but it saddens me that places not being accessible will likely limit her choices... once again, not sad that she uses a wheelchair, sad that places are not accessible.
If you own a business I challenge you to go above what the law calls of you. If you are someone with power to help, change how accessible places are. See the value in people and let that value transfer out into how we shape the world around us.
In the same stroke, I'm also proud of me tonight. There are many times I can't talk about weddings of future with the girls, there is a lot of unknowns there (I know everyone has unknowns but sit in my shoes here) and sometimes it hurts too much to talk about those dreams and ideas and what if they don't come true (now my keyboard is getting wet) but I know that it is normal for little girls to dream of weddings and who am I to deny them of that? Who am I to put my fears and worries before their dreams? And even if they don't come true, I get to have that memory of cuddling in bed with Jilli and talking about her dreams and that is something I wouldn't want to miss. That is too precious to let my fear stand in the way. She might not remember cuddling up tonight, but I don't think it is a memory I will forget.
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