Mumblings of my head

I am one of those people who is always thinking. Like my brain just doesn't shut off. I have a lot of time in the car running between different appointments and thankfully at this stage in my kids lives they are ok in the car (Thankfully Lydia stopped screaming at the top of her lungs every time we were in the car!)

Sometimes while driving I come up with what I think are great ideas for blog posts but by the time I get home and unload the girls my thoughts are on to a hundred other things (getting kids in and out of the car at our house is a production; formula, feeding pumps, oxygen, diaper bag, ect)

But today as I drove home the song "You Don't Know How Beautiful You Are" by Jon Foreman came on. Music has always been a big part of my life (you can read a post I did about music HERE) But the words of this song hit me again today.

"Future gardens
From all this rain
Future flowers
From present pain
We’re bound together
And our lives are bound to change
You don’t know how beautiful you are"

Also on my drive home today the song "Somebody's Baby" by Jon Foreman played (I was listening to the Jon Foreman station on Pandora)

And as I listened to these songs my head twirled with thoughts. How we view others... how we view ourselves... how we view "those people"... how we love others... how we really care...

I will admit emotionally it was a hard week for me. We added a new piece of equipment into our mix that will help Jilli but there is a learning curve for us all. There has been a lot of advocating for the girls that has been going on lately. We have new insurance but none of the info yet for the insurance which is making me antsy. And a child that I know died.

Being a part of the special needs community and investing in others and them investing in you means that you know children who die. Its hard. Loving and being a part of that community is better then trying to hide because of the heartache but I don't want to pretend that its not hard. The more invested we get the harder it is, sometimes its kids we know from RMH, sometimes its from online support groups, but it hits my heart.

Everyone is somebody's baby. Even if that person has wronged you. Even if that person has hurt you. Even if your politics don't align. Even if they don't worship God. They are somebody's baby and when I look at others that way I hope it impacts my heart to have more compassion. I hope it makes me strive to love more.

How do we help others to see how beautiful they are. How do we work to show compassion. Its not easy... it has to be a choice.

I keep thinking about "what are the things I am passionate about?' Honestly right now it is healthcare in this country and I get how someone can see how this effects me right now but this is someone who it has effected for a long time (remember I was an uninsured adult who's healthcare status changed when ACA was passed) but I think of the many families who need healthcare fought for.

I have been really disappointment in our government lately. Yes, very happy the stupid healthcare bill did not pass (don't take that for me saying that healthcare does not need improvement, but the bill in all of its many forms sucked) I'm disappointment in the party that holds the power that has whined and complained for the past 8 years now has leaders that say they will not work with the other party (after whining about the other side doing the same thing). I'm frustrated by the executive orders and what a mess most of those have been. I am frustrated that some people in government are preaching that we don't have to take care of the planet or care for other people which is very unbiblical from a bunch of people who advertise their faith for political gain. Honestly, I have never been a party line voter, but by the actions of many republicans lately it is going to take a lot to convince me to vote for one. And their "pro-life" stance is not going to "win" me over because while I am pro life, I am pro life and loving people once they are born and I am not seeing that in many choices and I see how loving people is the most pro life thing you can do because if someone is not worrying where they are going to get food, or if their child has been diagnosed with a disability in utero and they know they will have healthcare their child needs, or if we teach sex ed instead of burying our heads that you see abortion rates go down. We need to stop only thinking about end results and look at how people get to those places and how can we love them before that (and in it)

How do we remember that "those people" are somebody's baby?

How do we remember that we all sin and we all mess up and we all need love and compassion?

How do we show people how beautiful they are?

"Where we’re headed
Is a world apart
From where we started
We’ve come so far
I’ll take my chances"

I'm a social justice person. I don't always get it right. Sometimes I get very wrapped up in me. Sometimes I am just too lukewarm. And we can't all help with everything. But I read a piece today about how so many people have opinions on things but most people don't act and most opinions are rather uneducated. We like to think because we have the internet that we know everything.

But as I sit here I just glanced over at Facebok and the top stories are about a flood where hundreds of people have died and Chechnya rounding up men who they think are gay and killing them and no matter what your views on homosexuality are I hope we can all agree that rounding people up and killing them is wrong (what comes to mind is the massage about casting the first stone), but honestly nothing will likely be done to help either of those groups. And I am just as guilty because it is so easy to get overwhelmed by  the world but fighting for what is right is a choice. A choice to do the right thing. A choice to love. A choice to see people how God sees them.